On Fantasizing vs doing...

My Life is PERFECT. I have the job that someone recommended I apply for and when I called about it, the woman I spoke with liked what I told her about my experiences and told me just to email my resume. My home is beautiful and organized and run like a tight ship; my closet...oh, my closet! A large walk in closet that looks like a glam glitzy and gilded Hollywood starlet's dressing room. I have purses and shoes to die for. My office is perfect and peaceful and I'm in there every morning before work organizing my day, planning my life, and every evening (after my delicious dinner has been cooked and consumed and the kitchen cleaned to a shine), making sure all has gone according to plan, and each and every item on my to do list has a small, neat checkmark beside it.  My children, who are very nearly grown, are now cubby-holed into their own pockets of well-adjusted, well-educated and well-settled lives and my husband is faithfully there when I need him to be and conveniently gone when I'd rather be alone. I have plenty of appointments to me busy--lunches with friends, important meetings, which, by the way, I am never inclined to skip, and the occasional party invite,  for which I don a not necessarily new, and not exorbitantly pricey, though high-end and very fashionable outfit. I am as organized as my Filofax says I am.

That, folks, is the fantasy. I fantasize a lot. I have fantasies that are so far out of this world I'm ashamed that they come from my head. When I half play them out at home alone (does anyone else do that?), I get embarrassed to find my cat watching me. She always looks at me with this "I'm Way Better Than You" look anyway. I have fantasies that are so darn possible to become reality that I am ashamed to tell people that I have them for fear that they will ask why I haven't acted upon them.

The reality is, I haven't yet emailed my resume for that job I want; instead I sit languishing on a nice, safe job, going nowhere and not really enjoying the trip; my family, well, I must say, is not too far off from my fantasy, and on this day after Thanksgiving, I have some leftover thanks to give for that. My house is not organized and not necessarily beautiful. As for my office and the time spent there and the things that get done there...hmph. It's more like this: I get up in the morning, say a quick, too quick prayer, grab my lap top, sit on the sofa just outside the office in the family and read articles and look at pictures of office organization, and beautiful closets, and well cooked meals. Such is my life.

But not to worry... I am re-configuring my Filofax for 2012. I fantasize that it will help my fantasies become reality.